Do I miss what I thought I would?

Just before I had Molly I wrote a post about the A to Z of pregnancy symptoms I thought I would or would not miss once I had my baby. I am not reviewing the post to see if I was right in what I thought I would miss/not miss.

A – I will not miss the anxiety of pregnancy

“I know that come baby’s arrival I will swap these anxieties with others so won’t be free of anxiety for years to come.”

Well I was right enough to say I don’t miss the anxiety of pregnancy and that I just have new worries but I did not realise I would miss the excitement and unknowns of being pregnant. I already want to start thinking about baby number two!

B – I will miss my bump

Actually no I don’t. Clothes fit me again! Just a couple of weeks post pregnancy and I am fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes again. I have a choice of clothing to wear (although some press on section scar so are not as comfy as they could be).

I can open doors without hitting my tummy, can squeeze out of cars (although can use parent and child parking so not such an issue now) and just feel so much lighter.

C – I will not miss longing for baby cuddles

100% true! Can cuddle 24/7 if I want and I love it!

D – I will not miss struggling with dog walking

Again this is so true! Been enjoying country walks with baby, dogs and hubby and been loving it – walks have been in the miles not metres and I haven’t tired or had any pelvic pain.

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E – I will not miss having to think about what I can or can not eat

I don’t think my diet has changed any to be honest. Since having Molly I have probably eaten less than I should and perhaps had a few more unhealthy foods but generally I am eating the same as usual.

F – I will not miss the fatigue

“I know that I will be shattered from getting up at night for the baby but I am hoping that I will feel more human within a few months.”

Well I can honestly say I have had 100 times more sleep than whilst I was pregnant. I still feel tired but probably from too much sleep rather than too little.

Molly has, since birth, only gotten up once a night. As she gets older we have found that settling her at night takes longer – at times around three hours – but once down she will sleep a solid six or seven hours.

I shouldn’t get used to the long lies in the morning as I am sure that they won’t last.

G – I will miss playing the guessing game

I defo miss this. We were convinced we were going to have a baby boy. Everyone we knew guessed a boy and my bump was a very boy bump so we were shocked to find out we had a girl!

There were times we wished we had found out the sex of the baby but we are glad we never. Next time will be the same, we will not find out the sex and we will play the guessing game.

H – I won’t miss heartburn

Correct. I don’t. Have not had any symptoms of this since the birth.

I – I will not miss having to restrict the amount of Irn-Bru I am allowed to drink

This was correct but incorrect. I can drink as much as I want but I just don’t want to drink it so much so I guess I don’t miss having to think about it.

J – I will miss many of the pregnancy joys

I absolutely miss the pregnancy joys. Indeed I miss being pregnant. I miss having the due date to look forward to, the mdwife appointments, hearing the baby’s heartbeat. I miss it so much I am looking ahead to trying for baby number two (although not for around a  year yet). I miss it more than I ever thought I would.

K – I don’t know if I will miss baby kicking

I don’t miss this. No because I didn’t like feeling it – I did – but because I don’t have to think about it as I have the baby in my arms!

It was strange that the first few days after she was born I still thought I felt her kicks but as soon as my organs settled these phantom kicks vanished and until I reviewed this post I had not thought about it.

L – I will miss long lies that I have enjoyed during the last few days of pregnancy

As I am still getting these and more I can’t say I miss them… yet.

M – I won’t miss restricted movements such as bending

Oh me. Imagine my joy of getting to put my own shoes on, or socks. Picking something off the floor. Imagine being able to do this just days after having a c-section and still feeling that the task was easier than when I was pregnant. I love my regained freedom.

N – I will not miss worrying about Neural-tube defects

Obviously I don’t miss this. There are new things to worry about but not this.

O – I will not miss overheating

Okay so I am not as hot as I was when I was pregnant but no-one told me that I would still overheat and feel clammy a lot. Sleeping in bed at night is far easier but otherwise I would say I am still overheating a  bit.

P – I won’t miss having to get up six times a night to pee

Wow who knew how much you could pee at one time after pregnancy. I often felt I was extracting every bit of water in my body but it meant I could sleep through the night without getting up and hardly have to get up off the sofa during the day. Super

Q – I won’t miss feeling queasy

Correct I don’t

R –  I will not miss rib flare

Who wouldn’t not miss having ribs that felt like they were breaking and jutting out. Not being able to sleep at night without a pillow under my back. Nope not me either.

S – I will not miss restricted sleeping positions

I can sleep on my front! Joy. Even the c-section scar doesn’t prevent me from getting comfy. I do feel it is an odd feeling getting comfy and still getting used to not having a tummy but at least I now have many options on comfort.

T – I will not miss not feeling I can’t travel far

I can’t drive yet from having had a section so I can’t say I feel I can go much further than before. Even going to the shop requires a deal of forward planning. I look forward to having a few trips out in the car by myself to see how I get on.

U – I won’t miss trying to find bright unisex clothing

I can now buy pink clothes! I can buy them but I don’t need to as we have been gifted so much clothes that there is no need but at least I can buy things that are not boring coloured.

V – I will not miss having to remember our vitamins

Well I still have to remember them as I am expressing milk for Molly (We couldn’t breastfeed) so I don’t miss this yet.

W – I won’t miss not being able to lose weight

Just over three week’s ago I was huge and now I am back into pre-pregnancy clothing. I am still 5lbs over my starting weight but I have been lucky enough to lose the weight quickly. Most of my weight gain was on my bump and I lost quite a bit of weight in the first trimester.

I haven’t started to actively lose weight yet, as I still have to take it easy, but I have been out for walks and enjoying being a bit busier.

X – I will not miss having to worry about x-rays

Haven’t needed one but at least if I did I could have one.

Y – I will not miss yawning all the time (although I guess this won’t ever go!)

Nope. I still yawn constantly. Oh well.

Z – I will miss all my lost ZZZZ’s

Not lost any, in fact I have gained many, so can’t say I miss that. Yet.

So as you can see there has been a bit of a mixed bag of whether I was right or wrong with my predictions. What I can say is that I absolutely love being a mummy and I can not wait to have another!

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Breast feeding – it might be best but it’s not easy

I had my heart set on breast feeding. Breast is best etc, but it is just not always possible.

As I had a section my milk too a few days longer to come in than normal and so whilst in the hospital I was told I had to formula feed my baby.

This was not what I wanted, but I realise that you can’t starve a wee toot, so did as I was told.

With the help of three midwives and two breast feeding support workers we still failed to get baby to latch on. This meant that she was getting more and more used to the bottle.

Not one to give up I sought more help when I got home from hospital and was given a loan of a hospital grade expressing machine and so, thankfully, I have been able to give my baby some breast milk before every formula feed.

I had another visit today from breast feeding support worker and it was not what I had hoped for – we couldn’t get baby to latch and it was pretty much suggested to stick to expressing and formula feeding.

I am trying to get my head round this and in all honesty I think it probably is for the best. Both me and baby are getting so upset with the feeding process and I don’t want to look back on this time as something I did not enjoy, as in general, I am enjoying it hugely.

At least baby is getting breast milk just not in the method I had hoped for.

We made it – baby is two weeks old today!

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We made it and have survived the first two weeks.

I would say that everything has been excellent, except not being able to breastfeed, and I love being a mummy and I am already thinking to baby number two (mad I know and no I won’t be actively trying for over year).

I can not say that I know what labour feels like – my birth was not what I had hoped for but we got the best result – a beautiful baby girl.

I had wanted to have my baby at the local maternity unit at Montrose but was booked in for an induction at Ninewells on Sunday, February 2, at 41+5. On the Saturday we had a sweep, which was not thought to be successful, but we had time and so I ate many jalapeños, drank copious amounts of pineapple juice and went for a long walk but to no effect.

Then at 5 am, five hours before I was due to be induced by waters burst in dramatic style – and again at 6 am and 7 am – then every time I stood my waters gushed. I phoned the midwife and cancelled the induction with the hope I would go into labour before 5 pm.

5pm came and nothing, not a single contraction but still leaking water. At the midwife she found my pulse to be fast (120bpm) and I had a slight temperature so I was recommended to go to Ninewells hospital and get checked out.

A mad dash to get my hospital bags and we arrived at hospital just before 7pm. I was quickly taken through to the ward and hooked up to all sorts of machines. It was found I still had a fast pulse, a temperature, meconium in my waters and, most worryingly of all (for the doctors) my blood pressure was 172/120!

I was quickly put onto antibiotics and a blood pressure tablet and whisked through to the labour ward to be induced by drip.

By now I was starting to get pretty anxious, fearing the worst, as all the doctors seems to be concerned about my blood pressure.

I was started on the induction at around 9 pm and was told by the midwife in all her years of being a midwife the drip had only failed on three or four occasions that she had been involved with, so we had high hopes on getting the party started – my body, however, seemed to see this as a target and did not respond to the drip.

The level of the drip was increased and after around seven hours I started to get what I can only describe as trapped wind feelings. During some of the “sorer” of these pains, and just as the midwife had left the room for her break, my babies heart rate plummeted from 150 bpm to 80 bpm. I can honestly say I have never been as scared as the day I saw the heart rate fall so dramatically. I called the panic alarm and was reassured that we were being monitored from outside the room and we were in safe hands.

The next time I had a “contraction” the heart rate again plummeted (this time with the midwife present) and no one seemed to panic, so we kept calm. I was asked to remove all jewellery “just in case” at this point but still no-one seemed to be overly concerned.

The third time it happened the doctor came in the room instantly and the drip was switched off and a change of plan was made – we now had to have an emergency caesarian section.

At this point we still thought there was no need to panic as everyone was so calm. We were told there was another emergency happening and so we may have to wait to be taken in to theatre but ten minute later I was whisked through, shaking like a leaf, to get my epidural and meet my baby.

I have never been so scared, shaky, and petrified but I have to admit that looking back the procedure was a breeze – helped by all the friendly people working on the theatre that day – I don’t know how I could have made it without them being so sympathetic and friendly.

Getting the epidural in took time as they struggled to find a space in my spine to inject it but from the second it was injected it started to numb my legs and I was whisked onto the bed.

Almost instantly I started to feel incredibly sick (I was warned I would). My blood pressure then dropped to 98/60 (much lower than earlier when I was first admitted). Thankfully this is normal and a quick injection sorted out how I felt and almost instantly I felt better

The feeling of having my baby extracted was an odd one. I could feel them tug and pull as they took her out.

From then it was only a matter of minutes until my husband got his first glimpse of our beautiful baby girl (who we were convinced was a boy until that moment). I had a daughter!

She was taken to be checked and I felt so relieved to hear her cry in the distance. What a beautiful sound.

From that moment it is all a blur. My emotions overtook me and I can not remember too much, except starting at the life I created.

Even the recovery from the section has been unexpectedly easy. Yes I was in hospital for four days as both I and baby needed antibiotics, but I had my baby with me and that is all I could have asked for – Ninewells ward 38 staff deserve a lot of credit for the help they gave us, especially Dawn, the midwife who did so much to get us discharged and home!