At the end of December I became “just a mum” after deciding not to return to work following my maternity, to become a SAHM. It is something I had thought a lot about from the minute I learnt that I was pregnant and although I know it is what I want to do for now, it was still a hard thing to do.
Financially we are not better or worse off by staying at home. We get child benefit only, nothing more, so we are not sponging off the Government as many people, including the Government might try and make you think. It really bothers me that there are people who think I am lazy or that we are sponging off the Government when we are not.
I will admit I do find being a mum “easy” but that is because we are so lucky with Molly that she is no trouble at all. I may take that all back in a month or so if she changes but for the past 11 months I have not felt being a mum to be hard. Does this mean I am lazy when compared to a working mum? No I don’t think so. I could get into that debate but for now I will leave it there.
My wages would have covered nursery fees and nursery fees alone. Why therefore would I want to go back to work if I can spend lots of quality time with the child that I decided to have?
I see nothing wrong with people who want to return to work, if that is what they want to do, but for me being “just a mum” is what I want to do.
I do worry that when it comes to returning to work that I will struggle to get something that I want to do. I enjoyed the job I was doing, for a while, but I was at the point that I wanted a change from it so I wouldn’t want to return to the same type of work that I was in. Now I have no idea what I want to do. Thankfully I won’t need to think about it for many years to come. I did still cry when I posted my notice though, making my option of being s SAHM a reality.
Since then I read an article on Parentdish stating that research has been done that suggests SAHMs are depressed and joyless. I feel quite the opposite. Each day I smile more than I have ever done, I laugh constantly and I feel the best I have ever felt emotionally since becoming a mum.
Researchers in the US claim SAHMs to look after their children are more likely than working mums to suffer from worry, stress, sadness, depression and anger. I beg to differ. I can quite honestly say, that for now, becoming a SAHM is the best thing I could have done, financially and emotionally and it makes me feel so happy and lucky to be given the opportunity to do this.
What I would love more than anything is to be a SAHM and not feel that I need to justify why I have chosen to do this.
Are you a SAHM, do you feel like you depressed and lonely because of it? Are you a working mum who would rather be home?